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March 16, 2016 advice

4 Things You Must Do To Get Out Of The Friend Zone

Oh no! The dreaded Friend Zone! Defined as a man or woman who have been cast as nothing more than a good friend by the person they have very strong feelings for, and the feeling it leaves you with is probably right up there with outright rejection (as in, absolutely no chance, whatsoever). After all, sometimes there is just nothing worse than hearing, “Oh. You’re a great (girl/guy), but I would like to remain just friends.”

Now, the last thing you want to do is any of the following: throw a fit, cry in front of the other person, randomly list off every reason you can think of that you would make a great boyfriend or girlfriend in a speed that could put the infamous cartoon the Roadrunner to shame, or start to aggressively question why. Is it hopeless? Not entirely. Read on to find out about the four things you must do to get out of that dreaded friend zone.

Number One: Just be friends.
You may have to accept her wishes to just be friends. This does not mean in any way that you should just give up. When the word “accept” comes into this situation, it means that you are trying to show the other person that you are not the needy, clingy or desperate type, that you are perfectly fine with concentrating on who you are, rather than just on the other person. This is very important for people, whether you have been friend zoned or not. If you want to try and get out of the friend zone and into a relationship, you need to show the other person that you can, and do in fact, have a life outside the relationship.

Number Two: Don’t always be available
That’s right, don’t always be available to the other person. That’s not the same thing as ignoring them completely. Instead, you are trying to give the other person a reason to miss you, a reason to want to be with you more and more. Don’t always say yes if they ask if you can hang out. According to Psychology Today, this will “increase their desire for you and their willingness to meet your needs back.” Making yourself available too much can also have some negative effects. For instance, you may find yourself doing constant favors for the other person, and not getting what you want in return. Don’t completely ignore the other person, but do not allow yourself to be used, either. Nobody will respect someone who allows themselves to be treated like a doormat.

Number Three: Don’t be a bug
Do not, under any circumstances, bug her about the choice they have made. It’s one thing to feel rejected and heartbroken by someone that you have strong feelings for. It’s a completely different story if you constantly vocalize and complain about it. This is a great way to get yourself out of the friend zone and into the no friend at all zone. It’s just like assuming that because you have invested all of your feelings into the other person, so they should do the same for you, right? Wrong.

Number Four: Make her jealous
This can also go hand in hand with number two. When you have been put in the friend zone, that means the person who put you there has given themselves the opportunity to date other people (possible because they may not want to be committed to just one person). Don’t outright brag about the men or women you go out with, or anything like that, as that could be looked at as tacky. Instead, do harmless (but noticeable) things, such as flirting with other people right in front of the person who friend zoned you.

There you have it: four things you need to do to get out of the friend zone. While there is nothing guaranteed in life, you have really nothing huge to lose or gain if you try these four things. Who knows? With a little bit of patience, they just might work.

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