Fellas, the next time you want a blow job all you have to do is ring!

Unplugged via @SexCigarsBooze

Oral sex, South Park, long-distance relationships, horror flicks, white rappers, Kanye West, X-Men First Class, Facebook dating and more guy stuff unplugged.

South Park Goes Dubstep – The Campus Socialite

The Six Sexiest Moments in Recent Advertising History – The Smoking Jacket

European advertisers have always got away with pushing the sex envelope. In a shocking display of sex simulation, there is a new sexually suggestive Sprite commercial showing a naked black man, a white woman on her knees, and… just check out the commercial to find out!

I guess sex sells even Sprite bottles!

When I wrote about the “She Ain’t No Beyonce Love Doll,” I couldn’t help checking out Pipedreamproducts.com (NSFW). After all, there is something stimulating about the word “Pipedream.” As you can imagine, I came across some interesting items, but the one that I felt was worth sharing with the fellas was a handy little throat spray you may want to buy for your girl called “Comfortably Numb.”

Comfortably Numb is a flavored desensitizing spray specially formulated to reduce the discomfort associated with oral sex. The refreshing mist contains a mild numbing agent that coats the back of the throat, helping to suppress gag reflex and prevent discomfort during oral sex. Discreet enough to take with you wherever you go, this special spritz doubles as a breath freshener as well.

I am not sure how you tell your girl to try some numbing deep throat spray, but if you are able to convince her to use it I am curious to know if it really works. For her tasting pleasureComfortably Numb is available in Mint Chocolate, Cinnamon, Cherry, and Spearmint.

In honor of International Women’s Day, there are a few things a guy needs to know about from a girl’s view.

1. Girls Are Not As Stupid As You Think

If you are cheating there is a good chance she knows. Most girls get that feeling when you are out doing wrong, but lucky for you most choose to ignore it. Some girls will pretend that you are not cheating in order to save the relationship and will wait around hoping that you will come around eventually realizing what a great girl she is. Then there are those other girls who will wait on the perfect opportunity to bust your balls!

Unbeknown to most guys, girls pick up on the “signs” of a cheating man. Chances are you are either making excuses for why the two of you can’t hook up, you start acting guilty, but turn your suspicions to your girl or all of a sudden you get more freaky in the bed just like an old dog that has learned new tricks. Regardless, just know that your girl is not as stupid as you may think.

2. She Is Waiting On Your Call

Just like guys, girls are afraid of the unknown. Nothing can be more dreaded in dating than hearing a voicemail message when calling. Most respectful women who understand that a man should choose a women will wait until the guy calls her especially if she has called or text him prior with no response. As a guy, you should know that there is a good change that she is waiting on you to call her although she has not called you. Women are not that complicated. If she gives you her number, she wants you to call. If she calls you and leaves a message, she expects you to call back. If you like her, she expects you to call. It’s really that simple. What’s not simple is when a women is waiting on a call from a guy that is not interested. If you are a guy that is not interested in a girl, call her and tell her you are not interested. Just make sure you say it in a nice way. In fact, try the old favorite “it’s not you it’s me…”

3. Girls Want To Have Sex On The First Date

A girl can be sexually attracted to a guy as much as he is attracted to her. On the first date she probably is thinking about being sexually intimate, but because she knows that you may never call her again regardless of how good the sex is, she waits. Is sex on the first date a relationship killer? Unfortunately for many men YES IT IS! Therefore, many women hold off on giving it up although that’s what they really want to do. Sadly, for many guys first-date sex is a no-no for a girl who wants a relationship outside of the bedroom. Having sex with a guy is the ultimate in intimacy for most girls. It’s not that the girl is a slut; she just may really be sexually attracted to the guy and feels the need to experience that intimacy very early on in the relationship. Whether it’s right or wrong, who knows… but as a man just know that some girls want to have sex on the first date. Whether or not you call her the next day is on you!

4. Size Matters Unless She REALLY Likes You

If you come across an article that states “Penis Size Doesn’t Matter Much to Her, So Stop Worrying and Start Pleasuring Her” do yourself a favor and STOP READING! Its articles like this that set men up for embarrassment and disappointment. These articles are no different than the bedtime stories your mother used to read to you. The reality is if you manage to go without having sex and the girl actually develops feelings for you prior to finding out you have a little penis you may be in luck. However, if you engage in sex with the girl prior to her developing any real meaningful feelings for you, the odds are you will be sh*t out of luck in scoring a second time unless you are really good at pleasing her through oral sex and hand stimulation.

5. She Expects You To Pay for Her and Her Friends

Yes, dating rules have changed, but any decent guy knows that this rule is still the same. A guy paying for a girl on a date has nothing to do with what society dictates and what you may see in the movies or even read in books. A man’s job is to be the head of the household and make his women feel protected as well as secure. Picking up the bill for your girl and her friends not only demonstrates that you have standards, but it also makes her feel good about her relationship while giving her an opportunity to show off in front of her friends. Paying for her and her friends shows that you are the “man” and more importantly capable of supporting her. The feelings that a women experiences when her guy takes the lead and steps up to take care of things in front of her friend is hard to explain. Just know that this small gesture may even lead to you scoring later on that night

6. Don’t Ask Her for A Blow Job!

Don’t ask and definitely DO NOT PUSH HER HEAD towards your jimmy! There are women who like oral sex, those that LOVE IT, and those that will do it just because she knows her man thinks he can’t live without it! Regardless of what category your girl falls in, let her initiate it. To some women giving oral sex when they’re not in the mood can be humiliating and treacherous. Just look at it this way, when you have to do something you don’t want you may not do your best job. Would you want your girl down there with her teeth when she was not up to giving her best performance… just a thought! If your girl is into oral sex, she may just blow your mind; however, if she isn’t into it and that’s what you think you need more than likely she is not the girl for you.