How should you qualify your dream girl? Well, that’s a topic. We typically offer you a well throughout “girl’s view” on matters of the heart, but today, we have atypical advice by Marcus of AGL Lifestyles (Oh no, a guy! Blasphemy!). He offers a different perspective than most of the “manosphere” dating advice and takes a more new age approach to explaining attraction that is grounded in evolutionary psychology.
Check out Marcus thoughts below on qualifying your dream girl and let us know what you think.
You may have read the title and thought to yourself, “what the heck is qualification?” But before I explain, let me tell you a story.
When I was living in Las Vegas, I went on a date with a cute girl to a Japanese ramen restaurant near the strip. As we shared pieces of our past history, I noticed that she began leaning in and becoming more engaged as the date drew on.
“What do you usually look for in a girl?” she asked me.
“Well typically I like girls who are open-minded, cultured, and intelligent,” I replied.
“Oh…did you know that I was admitted to Yale Law School before I took my job in the Bay Area?”
At that moment, I knew that she wanted to have sex with me.
Because she qualified herself to me.
Basically, this means that she was trying to justify or explain why I should like her. And this is the clearest verbal indicator of sexual interest.
Think about it this way. Imagine that you are in a job interview. The first thing that you give to your interviewer is your resume, and, on that resume, is a list of your qualifications. These are your past accomplishments and current skills that justify why you are right for the job.
Moreover, during the interview, you explain to the interviewer why you are right for the position. Why? Because you really want the job.
So when a girl qualifies herself to you, that means that she really wants you.
Although the example above is obvious, there are also more subtle ways that someone can qualify to you.
Imagine if you meet a girl at the bar and you start chatting with her. You both are talking for about five minutes, then you ask her, “hey, where did your friends go?”
“I don’t know, I know they went to the bathroom and I texted them, but they haven’t texted back. Let me check my messages…no, still no response…yeah, I’m not quite sure…”
The first answer is an overly verbose reply to a simple question. She’s over-justifying herself, which is a form of qualification.
So clearly she is overthinking her response, which means that she cares about what you think.
Compare this to the alternative:
“I’m not sure.”
This answer is short and succinct, and it’s clear that the girl does not feel compelled to explain herself. And, in general, whoever cares less about what the other person thinks is in a position of power in the interaction.
Consequently, girls are biologically attracted to guys who are in this position of power, which explains why girls like bad boys or men in uniform–because they are established as either authorities or guys who don’t give a fuck.
So when a girl qualifies herself to you, she is signalling that she cares about what you think; thus, she perceives you as a high value male, and this can evolve naturally into sexual attraction.
It’s important to note that just because she’s qualifying herself doesn’t always mean that she’s trying to convey interest. She might be a naturally anxious person or is contextually nervous in the situation that she’s in. However, if she qualifies traits about herself, then that’s a clear indication that she’s into you.
So when you’re on a date with a girl or you’re meeting a girl at the bar for the first time, pay attention how much she qualifies herself because this is a dead giveaway to her subconscious signalling that she likes you.
Ways to Elicit Qualification
You might be wondering, if qualification is the key to sexual attraction, is there a way I can get a girl to qualify herself?
Yes there is!
The way to elicit qualification is to first know exactly what you’re looking for in a girl and see if the girl you’re talking to meets those standards.
Going back to the job interview analogy, now you become the interviewer and she becomes the applicant that is trying to live up to your values.
Let’s break it down.
Step 1. Think about what your values and priorities are. Do you value business? Do you like to travel? Are you a health nut? Write down what inspires you in life.
Step 2. Think about how a girl fits into that picture. Do you want a girl who also wants to see the world? Or do you want someone who supports your hectic lifestyle as you run from the boardroom to the gym?
Step 3. Write a biographical sketch of your ideal girl. Really think about every detail, especially non-physical: her work, her hobbies, what she is striving for in life, her religious and spiritual beliefs, etc.
Step 4. How does the girl you’re talking to measure up to that picture? You don’t have to do a full FBI interrogation, but if you have standards and boundaries for the kind of girl you want in your life, then the girl you’re talking to at the bar, at the gym, or at Starbucks will appreciate that and view you as a high value man, even if you don’t end up having much chemistry with her. At the very least, she will respect that you have standards. And if she does like you, she will try incredibly hard to qualify herself to you.
This is the secret to finding your ideal girl: know what you’re looking for and hold her to those standards. It doesn’t always have to be black-and-white–just because she doesn’t want to watch the Golf Channel doesn’t mean that you have to send her packing. However, by having high standards, people will naturally want to prove themselves to you and will respect you.
Does this mean we shouldn’t qualify ourselves?
As a male, a quick way to immediately increase your value is to qualify yourself less. Basically, don’t feel the need to prove yourself to anyone.
Think about the following example. Imagine you meet a guy and he tells you out of the blue, “Yeah, I’m doing pretty well for myself right now. I’ve been making lots of cash.” You’d think the opposite of what he says, that he’s not making that much money and he’s trying to cover up his insecurities by bragging.
Instead, think about a person who you ask how their work has been going, and he replies, “it’s been good. No complaints.” Someone who answers the question without feeling the need to overcompensate comes across as more confident and secure about his situation.
Thus, if you’re talking to a girl and you never qualify yourself to her, you’ll come across as a high value, attractive man.
Consequently, by having a solid grasp of qualification, you’ll understand how to turn a girl on with your words and behavior.
So there you have it. Qualification–the hidden key to sexual attraction.