Q:
I hate that my girlfriend is extra friendly with my friends. Sometimes I think she is flirting. How can I tell her to stop being so friendly with my friends?
A:
There are several possibilities as to why your girlfriend is borderline flirtatious with your friends. One possibility is that she is Little Miss Sunshine. Being outgoing and friendly may come second nature to her and this is just who she is. Think back to when you first met your girlfriend. Was she a social butterfly? Did she approach you first to say hello and make conversation? For some women, who are friendly and out-going by nature, a stranger is just a friend they haven’t met yet.
The other possibility is that she is a person who craves the attention of men. She may be the type of woman who thrives on and needs the constant reassurance from other men that she is attractive and HOT. Think of Natalie Nunn of Bad Girls Club. She may be the type of woman who is constantly on the lookout for the next best thing.
Regardless as to the origins of her ‘friendliness” her behavior at this point is making you uncomfortable. I suggest you talk to her and tell her how you feel when she is “friendly” with one of your friends. You should say to her privately “Sarah, when you do____________ I feel__________” and give her a chance to hear you.
Don’t make her wrong. She simply may not realize that you are uncomfortable. Her behaviors may change, or she may accuse you of being insecure. Perhaps she may reassure you that she only has eyes for you or she may think you are overly sensitive. Either way, by telling her how you feel and giving her a chance to respond will help you determine if this is a girl that you want to continue to date.
Karen D. Robinson
Certified Dating Coach
